The Woody Allen play, directed by Matt Southwell, is an action-packed comedy presented by a seasoned cast of characters, with surprises and secrets in store.

“This play, I did it in high school at AHS, and I’ve always thought it was funny,” Southwell said. “It’s about Soviet block era, behind the Iron Curtain … A lot of the text is dated so I have adapted it a little bit to fit more modern times.”

He took some creative liberties with the characters as well.

“The way the play is structured, there are four main characters, and then there are a bunch of tiny little characters,” he explained. “And I didn’t really want to ask anyone to spend their evenings down here all the time for four lines.”

Courtesy Photo by Bronwyn Woolman Alpena Civic Theatre’s “Don’t Drink the Water” cast is pictured at a recent rehearsal. Seated in front are Traci Boyle, Matt Southwell, and Morgan Suszek. Gathered in back, from left, are Bridget Hollinshead, Diane Lozen, Zach Clement, Christine Elowsky, Bruce Michaud, Nick Hartman (seated), Kendra McInerney, Josh Gougeon, Mystery Person, and Randy Bouchard.

So he invited each actor to use improv and make more out of their character than the script calls for.

“Make it blossom,” he told them. “And I cast this group specifically for that, knowing that. Every one of these people was hand-picked because I knew that they would blow it up, and have they ever!”

He can’t say enough about the cast.

“No one has let me down in any way, shape or form,” Southwell said. “They’ve been magnificent … So many really seasoned, good comedic actors in this play, and we have some newcomers, too.”

Southwell not only directs the comedy, he plays main character Walter Hollander, who gets the chaos rolling by taking photos (his new hobby) of secret military areas, then flees to the nearest American Embassy with his wife Marion, played by Diane Lozen, and daughter Susan, played by Kendra McInerney.

Bruce Michaud plays Ambassador MaGee, who leaves the American Embassy in the charge of his inept son, Axel MaGee, played by the always hilarious Nick Hartman. Zach Clement as Kilroy attempts to keep Axel on task, but that proves to be a very difficult, if not pointless, endeavor. Meanwhile, nervous Ms. Burns is scurrying around trying to help, played by Christine Elowsky.

Josh Gougeon plays Father Drobney, who has been holed up at the Embassy for six years, practicing his hobby of magic tricks, which he jubilantly presents to fellow captives, the Hollanders, who have mixed reactions.

Walter is not amused with any of the options presented to him; not even the food offered by the Chef, played by Traci Boyle, who takes erratic mood swings to a whole new level of funny/scary.

Speaking of scary, Morgan Suszek plays the intimidating Krojak, hell-bent on capturing the American “spies” that were taking pictures, accompanied by his growling, gun-toting sidekick, played by Bridget Hollinshead, who also plays two other roles in the play, including Kasnar.

Randy Bouchard takes the stage as the Sultan of Bashir, and his wife, who never reveals her face, shall remain a mystery to all.

Scott Edgar is the assistant director.

“Scott has been bulletproof, invaluable, like, lifesaving in so many ways,” Southwell said.

Southwell said the Alpena Civic Theatre team has really come together both behind the scenes and on stage to bring this show to fruition.

“This play, without a doubt, is a perfect example of theater being a collaborative art,” he said. “It is taken to an exponential level. Everybody has pitched in … It is the spirit of theater.”

He explained how he ended up as the main character, which was not the original plan.

“This play has been a labor of love in a lot of ways,” Southwell said. “When I first proposed this play, I wanted Pat Jacques to star in it. And, of course, Pat passed, so I’m dedicating this whole show to Pat.”

Southwell recast that role three times, and something happened every time, he said.

“And this is a lead role,” he noted. “It’s the Jackie Gleason part in the movie, the old film. It’s a big role. And the last person, when they dropped out, we were in such a place where ‘There’s no time,’ and everyone said, ‘Matt, you know the script better than anybody else … so I jumped in, and I took the role on.”

He said directing and acting in a play is not ideal.

“It’s for the birds! I’m never going to do it again,” he said with a stressed-out laugh.

The whole process of working with this cast has been a delight, Southwell reiterated.

“There isn’t a single actor up there that isn’t a very good comedian,” he said. “It’s been an absolute scream to direct.”